It's about time that I start running again to melt off those excess pounds that I've been gaining lately, but the weather is just so good I can't get myself to do it.
I was at lunch today, eating at Daphne's and just thinking to myself how good the gyro plate I was eating was. I suddenly became thankful. I was thankful that a friend that I had met when I first came out, introduced me to Daphne's. A slew of thoughts came pouring into my head about how I was thankful for each and every person I've ever dated. No matter how ugly things had ended, I've always walked away with something positive. It may be a bit late, as Thanksgiving was over a month ago, but nevertheless, I wanted to put this down in writing.
Alex introduced me to Daphne's. He also revealed just how naïve I was, coming out at the age 20, thinking that after going on a few dates with someone that he was suddenly my new boyfriend.
Joe taught me that a friendship can develop even after breaking up with someone. He showed me that if you are mature enough to talk things through, a friendship can still be formed. Two years later, we're still really close friends
Eddie taught me about romance; to this day, reading his stories on Xanga about what he goes through to surprise his special someone still inspires me.
Kevin showed me that I was a pushover, and that if I was ever going to survive out in the tough world, I would have to be blunt when the times called for it instead of trying to please everyone.
My most recent and longest relationship with Vince, conveyed to my exactly how my priorities had been laid out. The first and most important thing on my list was always academics and everything else fell afterwards. I realized that I would ignore everything around me to concentrate on doing well in school, even if that meant ignoring loved ones like my family and significant others. While that is a semi-relevant excuse, it's a cop out to some degree. I would use the excuse occasionally because I didn't want to put out that extra effort.
In the end, even if I had only been on a few dates with the people I mentioned above or if I was in a longer relationship with them, I learned from these experiences nevertheless. Despite whatever happened, I take only the positive with me, forgetting the rest; even when I let go, Karma never does. Taking away the positive aspects of these relationships has allowed to me to grow.
The gay world is such a small world, just like pharmacy. I don't know everyone, but I feel like I've atleast seen them all before.
This Christmas has been one of the best Christmases that I've had. I've been home since Tuesday now and have had a lot of time to bond with my family. I got to watch Eagle eye, Wanted, and Mirrors. This year we didn't have a traditional family dinner at home where we cooked all the food. Instead, we made it easier on ourselves and went out to Seafood Cove in Westminster to get some lunch on Xmas day. Afterwards, we went home and opened our presents. This year was different than most, because we had >40 presents total. It was insane. If we had a Xmas tree, the presents would not fit under it. Next year, we're thinking about just doing a limit of 100 dollars and doing a secret santa instead. That way we don't end up spending hundreds of dollars to get eachother extravagant gifts. Pictures to come soon

Then Friday rolled around. I met up with Phuong and Lee and went to Treasure Island with them. We gambled some, and then went to lunch at the Venetian. Afterwards, we strolled over to Planet Hollywood for a few hours. After that we split up and I met up with my friends over at the Bellagio and went shopping with them for a bit. After the day ended came another night of dancing and drinking. We went to the Jet which sounded promising since the billboard outside the hotel read "3 rooms, 3 sounds." Apparently, Friday wasn't hot enough for them to open up the other two rooms so I spent the first 4 hours being squished as people tried to go back and forth along the dance floor. I was super pissed off when this girl spilt her vodka all over my head and body. That was a total buzz killer. I stopped drinking after that and had just a mediocre night. I'm not sure if I'll ever go back to that club.
Saturday, we all woke up and checked out of our rooms. We ended by going to this Italian restaurant before we left. Over all, I must say that this trip was the best Vegas trip I've had so far in my life. I've never really done fun stuff in Vegas. It's usually just with the family, walking along the strip or staying in the rooms as they go gambling. I'm looking forward to returning, but only if I have enough money to spend for the second trip. Happy Holidays everyone!



Sometimes I think about my love and just wonder. Is he going to be someone that is right under my nose?
Is he is a good acquaintance that I know of? Is he my best buddy from undergrad? Is he someone I know of that has yet to come out? Who knows, I guess anything is impossible. Whether he's someone that I've never seen before or someone that I've known nearly all my life, as long as there's chemistry and love, that's all I need.

Just as I had promised, some pictures from the half marathon. In the first picture I'm standing with Kimberly and Florence, and in the second picture I'm running across the finish line.

Despite some recurring frustration with memories, it's finally safe to say that I'm happy where I'm at. I don't need anyone by my side to make me happy. I'm happy with myself and how I've been doing. ::crosses fingers:: I hope I get this job I'm interviewing for on Tuesday. If I do, things are going to change, in both good and bad ways but until then, all I can do is wait and see what happens.
I never imagined that I would have the strength to do such a thing but I did today. I'm so proud of myself and all my friends that passed the finish line today. It was a total of 13 miles and I got a time of 2 hours 33 minutes and 56 seconds. This isn't exceptionally fast but I was still proud because my personal goal coming into the race was just anything under 3 hours. During the race I ran comfortably for about 6 hours or so and then the right sole of my foot got very cramped. After that I could no longer run so I had to powerwalk the rest, running only for short distances when I could. Then at the 12th mile I saw this old lady powerwalking right in front of me. I couldn't let her beat me. At this point, all we had to do was run under a tunnel and turn around the street corner. I powerwalked to catch up to her but I wasn't quick enough. When I saw the tunnel, I immediately started to sprint and just kept on running until the finish line. I guess you could say that the adrenaline helped to push me during that extra half mile. I'll update next week with pictures.
Ok back to studying. I'm so sore. I'll be immobilized for the next 2 days!
I've been studying for finals lately. In other words, I've been MIA. I just have about 1.5 weeks left before I'm free. I'm very excited to be going to Vegas for a few days from Dec. 18-20.
There have been a lot of things going on, things I'd like to write about but I just can't find time to fit in. So I promise that I'll be back right after the 15th to talk about my adventures.
I can't understand myself. Everything my classmates do, I take it as a challenge, a form of competition. I constantly compare myself to my classmates and I feel horrible when I'm not on the same level. I'm not just talking about academics but also leadership as well. In some ways, seeing it as competition is what motivates me to excel, but I want to do things because of my own passion and drive instead of doing it because I think I have to.

So I went to go watch Twilight yesterday with Michelle and a couple of my classmates. I knew it was going to be this corny teenage romantic flick with a few vampires tossed in there. It was just what I expected. The actress was just horrible; she kept on blinking her eye in disbelief at just everything. I guess I can't complain because Michelle has already warned me prior to the movie that it would most likely be corny. The only reason why she wanted to go watch the movie was because of the hot guy. As I was watching the movie I couldn't help but agree with her. Edward, one of the Culluns was so cute. He certainly played his character well and I found him so intriguing.
I couldn't help it. I couldn't stop thinking about the guy afterward and I realized how this is reflective of who I am. I like guys, everything about them. I just wish I could have found the strength to come out to my classmates after the movie. I've been wanting to, but deep down inside I am scared that they would reject me or see me in a different light. I'm scared that it'll get around to the entire class and that it would affect my professional career. This is funny because I actually came out to most of my close friends nearly 2 years ago. I even made myself publicly gay by changing my status to gay on myspace. When I entered pharmacy school though, everything changed. I became a closet gay again. One of these days I'll have strength.
I've been waiting for months now, holding off on applying for jobs because I wanted to wait for that perfect one. I didn't want to just apply and get any old job. I wanted to gain experience in the industry so that I could improve my resume. Today I got an email for a regulatory affairs job for a student intern. I think it's perfect. I hope I get it. Wish me luck!
So the other day I brought a croissant to school. While I was on break, I was talking to my friend and was about to grab my croissant out of my bag to snack on but realized that it went missing. I thought I must of dropped it on the way to class (somewhere between the parking lot and PSC). I was studying a fews days later and opened up my notes to find my croissant smushed flat between my papers. I found you! :P
Today was the SAM/APSA Health Fair in East LA across from LAC + USC hospital. It was from 10-2pm. It was my second health fair of the semester, and overall I had a great time giving out free samples of sunscreen and educating the public about both sunscreen and skin cancer.
After I got home, I talked to my roomie about the my health fair and it was refreshing to hear how she's aware about capabilities of a pharmacist. We can do so much more than just work in a community setting. It's nice to know that the perception of a pharmacist is slowing changing. People are finally realizing that our four years of graduate education means we can so do much more than what we are often given credit for.
I ran today. It's been awhile and I must keep up my routine if I'm even thinking about entering the half-marathon.
I'm sitting here studying for my OTC exam which is this Friday. This will be the last midterm before finals. However, I'll be busy preparing for a lot of upcoming events for VAPSA.
Sigh, as busy as I think I am, I don't think that I am being as productive as I could be. My friends are picking up extra jobs left and right. I'm barely working 8 hours a week and yet I'm complaining that I have no time to do other things. I may have two positions with two organizations at my school, but it definitely doesn't seem like it. For example, I was supposed to make a posterboard for this upcoming Healthfair. I've postponed it for nearly a month. I have 5 days until the healthfair to put together the board. I just need to stop putting things off. I also need to plan a committee meeting and put together the agenda for that day, but I've been putting it off because I really don't want to think about it. I need to get back in the groove. I need to find ways to motivate myself.
I thought I was doing better, I thought all this time that I'dfreed up would give me an opportunity to excel and succeed with my professional goals, but instead I choose to use my time unwisely.
I just wanted to test this out to see if I can cross-post to both my Xanga and my Blogger at the same time. Let's see how it goes.
After Tuesday's voting results, my friends and I were all stunned about the results of prop. 8. We decided that we couldn't just sit there silent and not do anything. So on Wednesday night, we along with thousands of others met up in West Hollywood for a rally against Prop 8. We then marched the streets from West Hollywood (Santa Monica) to Sunset and Highland. I think we made it loud and clear that we would not be victims of discrimination. That was my first big rally. I've never march so far in protest of something, have never blocked traffic, and caused so much commotion before.
On Friday, I went to Saddle Ranch on Sunset for two of my classmate's Bdays and then rode the bull after dinner. It was so fun. This is something that was definitely worth it, especially since we sat in traffic for 2 hours getting there (there was a madonna concert at Dodger's stadium). I'll post the video soon!




On Sunday, about 8 of my friends met up in Irvine on Alton and Culver to protest against Proposition 8, the proposition that is against gay marriages. I was scared at first, as it was my first rally and had no idea how the crowd react. Would they boo us and try and harrass us or would they be supported. To my surprised, once I arrived there with San I felt comfortable and at home. I was so proud to be gay and to part of this movement for change. San made a beautiful long sign that was long enough for five people to hold together. It said Nooo on H8te. There were moms and dads out there that held signs with us and supported. I even met my good friend that studied abroad with me while I was back at USC undergrad. We were met by very supportive drivers that passed by. They would honk their horns in support, would wave, and cheers us on. This gave me a lot of motivation. Of course we also met some opposition as some would flip us off as they drove by or gave us a thumbs down. There were no Yes on 8 protestors though. I heard that there were a few last weekend at the same street corner but they eventually dwindled down as the number of No supporters grew in size. I got to the site at 11:30 and then left at 2:20pm. My friends left at the same time and went to the rally in Fullerton close to CSUF right in front of a church. Click on the link below to read more on that rally. I heard it was a lot more exciting that the Irvine one as there was a huge turnout on both sides with about 200 No supporters and 150 or so Yes supporters.
First of all, the fact the notes some how got around surprises us all. I had never even gotten a chance to send my notes electronically to my discussion group members due to time constaints. I only made hardcopies for those that attended our small group disccusion on Thursday. However by Friday, our notes had made its way around the class. Someone, obviously took the time to scan those notes send email them out. What makes me personally mad is that as an co-owner of these notes, I should have the say in whom I want to distribute them to. I may make myself out to be a selfish person in writing this post, but I'm not. I often like to say that what's mine is yours. Relating to this situation though, I just wished that the person who had sent out our notes had asked us first. By not doing so, it is disrespecting me and the other co-owners of that piece. A work is essentially copyrighted the moment it is finished. Those who write it become the owners. As owners, I believe that it is our right to regulate our work, and not the right of those who have obtained our work.
What do you think? Are we being too touchy about sharing our work?
As a user of antibiotics for acne, I get scared that the bacteria on my face will eventually become resistant. I've been using this product called Benzaclin for a little less than a year now. It's an antibiotic in combination with benzoyl perioxide (product exposes bacteria to oxygen which kills them). I use it quite regularly. I can't help but get scared about missing a few doses and having the bacteria become less sensitive to the product upon resuming. Such was the case when I went back to Orange county to visit my father. Of course, I forgot to bring my medicine with me and so I missed my night and morning dose. After that, I broke out on numerous spots on my face and three weeks later, I'm still getting papules in places I haven't ever been concerned about before. I used to rarely get acne when I was on this medication continuously. We'll see what happens in a few weeks. I'm starting this cream again and it should help to air out the pores. The only thing is that it takes several weeks before it takes effect. It's also harsh on the skin since it has a drying effect.
Most of my friends have grown out of their acne by now. When will it cease to be a problem for me? If I was a girl, it'd be easy; they can actually take birth control to maintain their hormones which helps to control acne. Birth control is obviously not an option for men; I'll start sprouting boobs :P
Can't wait until after today's Therapeutics midterm. Then I can hang out with Mariah and Phuong on Tuesday and try and figure out what to dress up as for Halloween.


A couple of my gay friends' birthdays are today, and they wanted all of their friends to do the same (ie donate). Instead of wasting money on presents, they wanted us to donate to No on prop 8. Since Oct. 10th, I've donated various times, but in all I've donated $165. It's something that I don't want to look back on and say that I could have done more. When something like the chance for equality comes out, how could you refuse it? Let's just say that we're blessed that the time for change is coming in this generation. We could have been born in the 1940s when it was not even an option to openly hold hands with another person of the same sex. So, let's make it happen. Don't sit there idly and miss this opportunity. Sometimes it takes someone to take away something before you realize the importance of what you had. Yet even still, as the Pro prop 8 people advertise constantly on TV, some people still don't realize the importance of all of this. If reading my blog helps at all, please go out there and donate. With just a few weeks left, money raised for the campaign will help reach those undecided voters.
The time for change is now. I can't wait 12 years from now for society to recognize me as an equal. I want it now. I'm tired of having to hide and pretend. I just want to be me...

Love is somethign that is amazing and beyond all of us. If it is so strong, how can one love a person one day and then want nothing to do with them the next. I say that it's because people throw around the term too loosely. Are they really in love with you when they say it, or are they infatuated? That's why I am always so careful to use the word. I may be hesitant to use it, but when I do, I mean it with all of my heart.
In addition, I see so many parallels in terms of the movie and modern day life. There was so much struggle between the two to find acceptance of their love, it was forbidden love. It almost seems destined that I watched this movie, since at the present, there is the whole battle over equality for marriage at debate (proposition 8). Gays and lesbians are trying to fight for their rights to marry eachother, to celebrate their love for one another publicly, to be treated as equals. There is intense struggle, and the result of the election will change history either way, whether it makes new ground setting precedence or whether it sets us all back years and increases our struggle. I hope that the latter will not be the case.
The movie makes me emotional on so many levels, but mostly it ticks me off too because of the whole debate about the sanctity of marriage at risk with the tolerance of gay marriages. In today's society, is the institution of marriage really all that sacred anymore? Teens and even adults are marrying for all the wrong reasons or without love, to be divorced years later. Yet, somehow the allowance of gay marriages somehow infringes on this sanctity? Well I will agree that in some cases it may, but for many gay couples, they have been with their life partners for decades. They love eachother, period. If that love is not sacred, I don't know what is. However, it is not fair that they are not being given the same rights as everyone else.
I don't see myself getting married anytime soon, but I want that option to be there when I find my Romeo oneday. I want our love to be celebrated among friends and family, publicly.

I'm just being really stupid today, can't concentrate. Chi chi and I went to Baccali today for lunch. I had the Cajun chicken and he had the Malaysian curry chicken. Then we went back to my place and then watched some SNL parodies of Sarah Palin. I stll can't believe how much she looks just like Tina Fei. Anyway, back to studying.
Sunday was the VAPSA health fair in Westminster. It wasn't as crowded as last year, but we still were able to give over 400 flu shots and were able to educate hundreds of individuals. I was in charge of helping the cholesterol screening booth. Was mainly in charge of controlling the line, and then helping students out of they could not get an adequate amount of sample to screen. It was a long day, but it was worth it.
Legislative day, health fair is coming up next Friday at the USC Main campus. We will be having hypertension, cholesterol, diabetes screening for free to the surrounding general area. I will be there with my Cancer Awareness commitee to educate individuals about the importance of applying sunscreen, and teach them how to screen and prevent melanoma and various other skin cancers.
Here are a few photos from my trip with my sister and niece to Orlando Florida. I really cannot believe that it happened this summer but I'm glad that it did, especially after the hectic summer with my MS classes. I had a great five days in Orlando and can't wait to come back someday and explore the other 4 disney world parks and other theme parks such as Sea World and Universal Studies.
I'm currently back in Omaha, Nebraska and will be back to CA on Thursday. I hope to move into my new apartment this thursday. We'll see what happens. I've been looking forward to moving in since last month and it's been pushed back multiple times by the manager.
Currently out of shape too, can't wait to go back to OC and working out with Hieu and continuing where I left off.