I can't understand myself. Everything my classmates do, I take it as a challenge, a form of competition. I constantly compare myself to my classmates and I feel horrible when I'm not on the same level. I'm not just talking about academics but also leadership as well. In some ways, seeing it as competition is what motivates me to excel, but I want to do things because of my own passion and drive instead of doing it because I think I have to.
So I went to go watch Twilight yesterday with Michelle and a couple of my classmates. I knew it was going to be this corny teenage romantic flick with a few vampires tossed in there. It was just what I expected. The actress was just horrible; she kept on blinking her eye in disbelief at just everything. I guess I can't complain because Michelle has already warned me prior to the movie that it would most likely be corny. The only reason why she wanted to go watch the movie was because of the hot guy. As I was watching the movie I couldn't help but agree with her. Edward, one of the Culluns was so cute. He certainly played his character well and I found him so intriguing.
I couldn't help it. I couldn't stop thinking about the guy afterward and I realized how this is reflective of who I am. I like guys, everything about them. I just wish I could have found the strength to come out to my classmates after the movie. I've been wanting to, but deep down inside I am scared that they would reject me or see me in a different light. I'm scared that it'll get around to the entire class and that it would affect my professional career. This is funny because I actually came out to most of my close friends nearly 2 years ago. I even made myself publicly gay by changing my status to gay on myspace. When I entered pharmacy school though, everything changed. I became a closet gay again. One of these days I'll have strength.
I've been waiting for months now, holding off on applying for jobs because I wanted to wait for that perfect one. I didn't want to just apply and get any old job. I wanted to gain experience in the industry so that I could improve my resume. Today I got an email for a regulatory affairs job for a student intern. I think it's perfect. I hope I get it. Wish me luck!
So the other day I brought a croissant to school. While I was on break, I was talking to my friend and was about to grab my croissant out of my bag to snack on but realized that it went missing. I thought I must of dropped it on the way to class (somewhere between the parking lot and PSC). I was studying a fews days later and opened up my notes to find my croissant smushed flat between my papers. I found you! :P
Today was the SAM/APSA Health Fair in East LA across from LAC + USC hospital. It was from 10-2pm. It was my second health fair of the semester, and overall I had a great time giving out free samples of sunscreen and educating the public about both sunscreen and skin cancer.
After I got home, I talked to my roomie about the my health fair and it was refreshing to hear how she's aware about capabilities of a pharmacist. We can do so much more than just work in a community setting. It's nice to know that the perception of a pharmacist is slowing changing. People are finally realizing that our four years of graduate education means we can so do much more than what we are often given credit for.
I ran today. It's been awhile and I must keep up my routine if I'm even thinking about entering the half-marathon.
I'm sitting here studying for my OTC exam which is this Friday. This will be the last midterm before finals. However, I'll be busy preparing for a lot of upcoming events for VAPSA.
Sigh, as busy as I think I am, I don't think that I am being as productive as I could be. My friends are picking up extra jobs left and right. I'm barely working 8 hours a week and yet I'm complaining that I have no time to do other things. I may have two positions with two organizations at my school, but it definitely doesn't seem like it. For example, I was supposed to make a posterboard for this upcoming Healthfair. I've postponed it for nearly a month. I have 5 days until the healthfair to put together the board. I just need to stop putting things off. I also need to plan a committee meeting and put together the agenda for that day, but I've been putting it off because I really don't want to think about it. I need to get back in the groove. I need to find ways to motivate myself.
I thought I was doing better, I thought all this time that I'dfreed up would give me an opportunity to excel and succeed with my professional goals, but instead I choose to use my time unwisely.
I just wanted to test this out to see if I can cross-post to both my Xanga and my Blogger at the same time. Let's see how it goes.
I'm adventurous at heart but some little voice inside me always tell me not to go for it. I think it's the scared timid me of the past, always rational and holding me back. I'm glad though that I have friends around me to push me when I'm in a state of hesitation. Good friends know you, and know deep down inside what you really want.
After Tuesday's voting results, my friends and I were all stunned about the results of prop. 8. We decided that we couldn't just sit there silent and not do anything. So on Wednesday night, we along with thousands of others met up in West Hollywood for a rally against Prop 8. We then marched the streets from West Hollywood (Santa Monica) to Sunset and Highland. I think we made it loud and clear that we would not be victims of discrimination. That was my first big rally. I've never march so far in protest of something, have never blocked traffic, and caused so much commotion before.
On Friday, I went to Saddle Ranch on Sunset for two of my classmate's Bdays and then rode the bull after dinner. It was so fun. This is something that was definitely worth it, especially since we sat in traffic for 2 hours getting there (there was a madonna concert at Dodger's stadium). I'll post the video soon!
After Tuesday's voting results, my friends and I were all stunned about the results of prop. 8. We decided that we couldn't just sit there silent and not do anything. So on Wednesday night, we along with thousands of others met up in West Hollywood for a rally against Prop 8. We then marched the streets from West Hollywood (Santa Monica) to Sunset and Highland. I think we made it loud and clear that we would not be victims of discrimination. That was my first big rally. I've never march so far in protest of something, have never blocked traffic, and caused so much commotion before.
On Friday, I went to Saddle Ranch on Sunset for two of my classmate's Bdays and then rode the bull after dinner. It was so fun. This is something that was definitely worth it, especially since we sat in traffic for 2 hours getting there (there was a madonna concert at Dodger's stadium). I'll post the video soon!
I went to go watch Eagle Eye with Hieu last week and couldn't help but fall in love with Shia Leabouf. There's something about him that says non-traditional, quirky, beautiful. That is all. I must go back to studying for my Therapeutics final tomorrow.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)